© 2012 John DeMarco M.Ed., LPC. All rights reserved.

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Below is a list of behaviors and attitudes that promote a healthy marriage. As you read the list reflect on your behaviors and consider making changes where you think you need to.

1. I do everything I can to understand my spouses feelings.
2. I show an interest in hearing my spouse’s opinion.
3. I let my spouse feel my approval and affection.
4. When I complain to my spouse I speak politely.
5. I do things to build my spouse up and make my spouse feel valued.
6. I avoid making sudden changes without first discussing those changes with my spouse and giving my spouse time to adjust.
7. I correct my spouse gently and respectfully.
8. I avoid bringing up past faults when talking about a current complaint.
9. I respond openly and verbally when my spouse wants to communicate.
10. I avoid criticizing my spouse in front of the children or other people.
11. I provide comfort when my spouse is sad or ill.
12. I make an effort to show an interest in what my spouse feels is important in life.
13. I avoid being defensives when my spouse expresses needs or feelings.
14. I give my spouse compliments.
15. I give my spouse freedom to pursue friendships, hobbies, and activities.
16. Although we are married I respect that my spouse has needs for personal boundaries.
17. I am able to let go of the need to “be right.”
18. In my marriage I accept my mistakes and learn from them.
19. I am forgiving when my spouse offends me.
20. I give my spouse tenderness and physical affection.
21. I take care to have special times alone with my spouse.
22. I take time to notice what my spouse has done for me and our family.
23. I share my thoughts and feeling with my spouse.
24. I show an interest in listening when my spouse wants to talk.
25. I do things to make my spouse feel like the most important person in the world.
26. I behave humbly and do everything in my power to get along with my spouse’s relatives.
27. I escort my spouse on visits to people and places.
28. I do little things for my spouse, such as an unexpected kiss or coffee in bed.
29. I regard my spouse as my equal.
30. I show an interest in understanding and respecting my spouse’s fears.
31. I give support to my spouse when he/she faces fears and difficult situations.
32. I am interested in discovering my spouse’s sexual needs.
33. I am careful not to offend my spouse sexually.
34. I am interested in making sure my spouse feels secure in our relationship.
35. I confer with my spouse before making expensive purchases.
36. Going on dates with my spouse is important to me.
37. I remember anniversaries, birthdays, and other special occasions.
38. I share the responsibilities around the house.
39. I do not speak disrespectfully to my spouse, especially when angry.
40. I do not try to manipulate my spouse by withdrawing or withholding love.
41. I call my spouse when I know I am going to be late.

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